| life... |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|10:09 pm] |
I've given up on humanity as a whole. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. It seems that nobody has time for me. Yea, i know - shut up, you're a big girl, don't need people holding your hand - blah blah blah...
It just seems that unless its conveinant for THEM or unless i'm doing something for THEM, then no one wants to know me. I'm always the "after-thought". I take a back seat to boyfriends, other friends, and the other friend's friends. Unless of course, some-one needs something. I'm tired of sitting around waiting for the phone to ring, and it never does. Then hearing about the wonderful time so-and-so had with the boyfriend or WHOEVER, while i was sitting at home, ignored and uninvited.
I just don't know what else to say. I could rant on and on, but it'd all be the same thing. I'm lonely, i can't stand people anymore (with FEW exceptions ) And i just think its sad that the only good friends i seem to have live far away... |
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| Happy Birthday Sin! |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|12:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Just wanted to wish an amazing birthday to my dear friend and favorite artist :dokuhacker: <3
I'm sorry i couldn't make it down Y_Y But i hope your 80's party is awesome XD Have an fantastic birthday!!
I miss you! <3 |
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| upset |
[Mar. 8th, 2009|04:47 am] |
So i'm not dealing with this most recent death in the family very well. Cleaning out my grandfather's things was extremely upsetting. For how much he annoyed me we did have a close relationship. And it wasn't untill he started getting sick that his personality shifted and we started to not get along as well. For shits and giggles I tried on his hoodie. It fits perfectly and i've always liked it so i decided to keep it. No one else wanted it anyhow. Well i put it on and after about 3 seconds the smell just hit me in the face. Old Spice. I swear he used to bathe in that stuff. Well that set me off. I'm glad no one else was home because i just started crying like a baby. I've been trying all week, but everytime i smell Old Spice now, i get choked up.
My freaking aunt needs to die and burn in hell. Her true colors have really come out to shine now that he's gone. Her biggest concern is making sure she doesn't get "cheated" in collecting her end of his possessions. She tried to take my fishing pole that my grandfather MADE, BY HAND, FOR ME. So we almost got into a fist fight over it. I haven't asked for ANYTHING of his. I took his hoodie. And I wanted to keep a fishing pole that was MADE FOR ME and GIVEN TO ME as a gift many years ago.
My grandfather had no "assets" to speak of. No money or jewelry or anything like that. He was a wood worker and a craftsman. And an avid outdoor enthusiest. So all of his things are just little hand made nick-nacks and crafts. Little keepsakes like that. And she feels like she needs to have them ALL. Just like when my grandmother died she HAD to make sure she got THE most expensive pieces of her jewelry collection.(Half the reason my grandfather had nothing was because he kept my grandmother iced and adorned in only the finest. She had SO much expensive jewelry untill the house was robbed a few years before she died. They took pretty much everything)
I just can't believe what a devious miserable selfish bitch she turned out to be. Not to mention she's a pathalogical liar. But i'll explain that some other time. I think i'll surrender to daylight savings and go to bed before i eat keyboard... |
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| Packing |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|01:20 pm] |
Well we're screwed. My grandfather passed away this morning. Which is about right. It'd be roughly 4 days since he was taken off any form of sustainance. So thats about all you can last without water. Anyhow, we need to make some hard decisions and make them fast. Because we can't stay here for long, and the other house has no heat or water and all the pipes froze and busted. I suppose we could get space heaters or something and buy drinking water. But i don't know what'd we do for bathroom facilities.
So yea... Life's kind of one big cluster-fuck of chaos right now. If i randomly dissappear for any length of time, its because we had to start packing up shit and the computer will be in transition to where ever the hell we find to go. |
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| life bites |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|12:00 am] |
If i should ever get into a situation where i'm dying and my family signs a DNR contract, let it be known that after i starve to death in hospice, i will haunt their asses till they have heart attacks.
Shit hit the fan. And things are NOT good. Waiting to see what happens.
No. No i'm not a very happy camper right now. |
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| . . . |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|02:36 pm] |
So sitting in a hospital room watching someone die infront of you isn't really all that fun. We went to see my grandfather in the hospital today and he's in horrible shape. He's done nothing but deteriorate since he was admitted three days ago. He can barely breath or stay concious for more then 30-60 seconds at a clip. There are obnoxious amounts of blood in his urine and i don't know what else to say other then he's blatantly dying. It was sort of upsetting to watch.
We left the hospital and went to my dad's garage. No sooner did we walk through the door did we get a call from my Aunt. In the 15 minutes it took us to leave the hospital and drive to my dad's work he'd gotten so much worse that they moved him straight into ICU. They're aren't expecting him to make it through the night. So yea. Just keeps getting better. Oh and i forgot to mention that if he indeed does die, then we're homeless because the mortgage people will come and take the house and everything in it to sell. Since its technically not our house. Its HIS house and we're just living up here. |
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| 2008 survey-thing stolen from Sin |
[Jan. 2nd, 2009|01:31 am] |
1) Was 2008 a good year for you? : No. Not at all. It was by far the worst
2) What was your favorite moment of the year 2008? : Getting to hang out with Sin at aNEXT, Otakon, Working the jewelry shows with Fran, Making a few new friends, Making it to epic teir in our Tuesday night D&D game... (sad i know)
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? : 95% of animeNEXT and 85% of Otakon, My job situation, The car accident, The ren. faire trip from HELL, realizing that 99% of all the friends that matter the most to me live away from here.
4) Where were you when 2008 began? : I believe i was RPing online
5) Who were you with? : Myself and the cats
6) Where will you be when 2008 ends? : I was downstairs with my dad
7) Who will you be with when 2008 ends? : See above ^
8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008? : No. I'm still over weight, single, and miserable.
9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? : Lose 180lbs, go back to school, work to get better with my art, find a GOOD job.
10) Did you fall in love in 2008? : Heh...
11) If yes, with who? : Doesn't matter because i can't ever be with them
12) If yes, do they know? : Maybe
13) Are you still in love with them? : Yes
14) Do you regret it? : nope
15) Did you break up with anyone in 2008? : Nope
16) Did you make any new friends in 2008? : Yup. Some pretty awesome ones too
17) Who are your favorite new friends? : Sin, Kerry, Katie, and Matt
18) What was your favorite month of 2008? : Not sure. Any month i was away from the house
19) Did you travel outside of America in 2008? : No
20) How many different states did you travel to in 2008? : 3
21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2008? : Yes
22) Did you miss anybody in the past year? : Sin, Gir, Steph, and B
23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? : Didn't see too many movies in 2008
24) What was your favorite song from 2008? : CaramellDansen, SuperMassive Black-hole by Muse,
25) What was your favorite record from 2008? : Eh..
26) How many concerts did you see in 2008? : None
27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2008? : Didn't see any concerts
28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2008? : More then i ever have
29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2008? : No. I didn't do any
30) How many people did you sleep with in 2008? : Zero. It was a rather dry year... A rather dry last two years...
31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? : Yea
32) What? I'd rather not say
33) What was the worst lie you told someone in 2008? : That i was sick so i could get out of going out when i just want to SLEEP.
34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? No
35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? : A few
36) How much money did you spend in 2008? : HAHAHA... Lets not go there. I already feel like a damned leech as it is...
37) What was your proudest moment of 2008? : Hearing that i'm not -completely- undateable
38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? : Ugg... Where do i start...
39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? : Too many to list...
40) What are your plans for 2009? : Going to as many cons as possible, working my ass off, and working out my self loathing issues |
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| Love Story.. |
[Dec. 1st, 2008|05:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Because it inspired me for a picture i'm currently working hard on. I've been obsessed with this song long before it was on the radio and became "popular". Its up there on my list of sweetest songs ever. The music video is absolutely adorable too. And yea, i enjoy country music. To each their own. Taylor Swift is adorable and i think its awesome that she's local, from my home state. And so young too. I can't recall the exact name of the town, but its somewhere around the Reading area down there. About three-fourish hours from here. Anyhow, i hope to have that picture up soon. I've been in an artistic slump lately, not to mention depressed in general over life. Got screwed over, yet AGAIN on the job thing. I'm ready to pull my hair out heh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXKAzgBMWxc
We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts–
I’m standing there, on a balcony of summer air.
I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd–
You say hello, little did I know…
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles–
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”–
And I was crying on the staircase–
begging you please don't go…
And I said…
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew–
So close your eyes…escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Ohhh.
Cause you were Romeo – I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet” –
but you were everything to me–
I was begging you, please don't go–
And I said…
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes–
Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it’s real.
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Ohhh.
I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading–
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said…
Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think–
He kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring and said…
Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad–go pick a white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say…yes.
Oh, Ohhh, Oh, Oh, Ohhh.
We were both young when I first saw you. |
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| marriage is about love |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|09:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
1. Being Gay Is Not Natural
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. Tattoos, piercings, and silicon breasts...
2. Gay Marriage Will Encourage People To Be Gay
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Open The Door To All Kinds Of Crazy Behavior
People may even wish to marry their pets, because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.
4. Straight Marriage Has Been Around A Long Time And Hasn't Changed At All
Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight Marriage Will Be Less Meaningful If Gay Marriage Were Allowed
And we can't let the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.
6. Straight Marriages Are Valid Because They Produce Children
So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry, because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously Gay Parents Will Raise Gay Children
Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay Marriage Is Not Supported By Religion
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children Can Never Succeed Without A Male And A Female Role Model
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay Marriage Will Change The Foundation Of Society; We Could Never Adapt To New Social Norms
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Repost This If You Think Love Makes A Marriage |
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| *flail* |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|03:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
OMG! Tomorrow's Wednesday!! End of story arc!! Whats gonna happen!?!? |
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| new icon |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|06:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
Just wanted to show off my new icon. Since FurAffinity is being stupid and refuses to let me change my avatar. This has been going on for weeks. I even consulted an admin and they've got no idea why it won't work. I made sure its the right file type/size and still nothing. Even went as far as to delete the old avatar. Yet the old one still displays even though its been deleted. No amount of re-caching or refreshing seems to help either. ANYHOW. No i did not draw this. Its a cropped out section of a commission i got from RayKitsune over at DA. But i still like it ^^
In other news. My hand is coming along alright. Its still pretty weak but i've gotten back roughly 20 degrees on my range of motion. Which for just having been at it 3 days isn't horrible. I'm still having a really hard time supinating my wrist. In non-therapy terms: I'm having a lot of difficulting turning my hand palm up. I cracked my radius in half and ironically enough ALL the discomfort i'm experiencing is in the ulna side of my wrist. I started doing hot water soaks before i exercise. The heat really helps loosen the joint up. Unfortunately, once it cools down, it stiffens right back up. But i just started all this therapy stuff, so i guess thats to be expected for a while. I was kind of shocked during my session yesterday. It was so histerical. My therapist started working me with free weights to build up strength. 10 reps with a one pound weight makes my hand quake like its having a seizure. I found it comical.
I've also been thinking a lot on life and things...I wish i had money so i could get out of this place. Theres just nothing here for me anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong - i love the friends i have here to death. I'm just in such a rut. I know theres other opportunities out there for me. I just need a fresh start. I had a conversation with a friend the other night that left me a little depressed. I'm really lonely, and the expressed interest, be it sincerely meant or not, just further cemented in my head that theres nothing here for me. At this point in my life i'm looking for more of a best friend and companion, then some kind of hott relationship. I mean obviously i don't want a boring relationship lol But i'd be absolutely content to lay around and talk or just cuddle, rather then fuck around. Call me a hopeless romantic but i love the idea of intimacy on an emotional level. "Screw and Toss" just isn't my style. For that matter i think relationships now a days are so petty. Yea being physically attracted to someone is important, but dear god... What happened to wanting to be with someone because they have an amazing personality, or because they make you laugh. I just want someone who's going to treat me with the respect i deserve. Who's interested in my thoughts and opinions and would rather hang out and draw or go bowling or something, instead of insisting that there's no "fun" to be had outside the bedroom.
I personally could give a crap less about sex. If it would ever progress to that level then okay thats awesome. But i don't go looking for it. Honestly nine times out of ten, i'd rather just cuddle. If that makes me strange? Well hey. I've never been accused of being normal lol |
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| depressed.... |
[Oct. 10th, 2008|06:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sore | ] |
It JUST sunk in... right now. That its my right hand thats hurt... My right hand that has the possibility of never functioning properly again...There goes my art... There goes my jewelry making... Therapy hopefully will help my fingers...But its a depressing thought. |
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| accident updates... |
[Oct. 10th, 2008|06:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
You know what really pisses me off....? The fact that my friend who was in the car during the accident was the LEAST injured. Suffering only a few bruises and a cut or two. Was discharged from the emergency room in 30 minutes, while my sister and i were kept till 3 a.m. being treated for OUR injuries. And yet... her mom is making the biggest deal over it. Over the phone she bragged to me how amazing her insurance plan is, yet how it was such a hardship to shell out a possible $45 a week for my friend if she needs therapy. A pre-exsisting injury i might add. My friend has a bum knee. If you poke it wrong, she's sore for a while. She's already been in a brace three times the last two years, from aggrivating it in gym class and tripping over herself.
It would be common sense when involved in a crash, that any pre-exsisting injuries would be aggrivated. Now before i get too far into this, let me give you the details. The accident was a direct result of complete and total brake failure in our vehicle. There-for classifying it as a "no-fault" accident. In the state of Pennsylvania the LAW for no-fault accidents states that each passenger's and the driver's individual auto insurance will pay for that person's immediate medical care and for any continueing treatment for any injuries that were a result of the accident up to a certain (pretty fucking decent) amount. And that when that amount is exceded the individual's medical insurance will begain to suppliment for cost.
Pretty straight-forward right? This is straight from the insurance adgent's mouth too. Well apparently, her mother isn't satisfied with that. It was revealed that she'd already consulted a lawyer and that he'd told her other wise. So in other words, she thinks we have some kind of money and intends to sue us for some bullshit reason. I'm sure we'll find out as soon as her and her lawyer are done fabricating some sob story of pain and suffering with mental scarring, or some shit similar. My friend pretty openly threw around that it was one of her biggest fears to be in an auto accident. I'm sure her mother will play that up for all its worth. Heh, i could be totally off-base here on the same hand. Who knows. But past experience and seeing how everybody and their brother loves to screw over my family and i has made me paranoid. I think i have right to be.
Might i also add that my friend is walking and functioning perfectly normally, but just because she needs to take a motrin once or twice a day for a bit of pain, that means she's obviously dying in her mother's eyes. It doesn't matter that my sister bruised her ribs and has a concusion, or that i was told by the doctor that i may never have normal function in my hand again, or about the handful of screws and steel plate waiting to be put into my wrist. My leg is busted to hell. I can't walk far without a crutch. BOTH knees sustained heavy bruising and trama. The doctor told me he doesn't know how the right one didn't shatter. My right breast was so badly bruised that there was hemoraging. Enough to make it so that literally, half my breast is PURPLE. I can't sleep because 15 minutes after a lay down and no matter which way i prop it, i'm in tears from the pain in my arm.
Not to sound like i'm on a poor me trip. I'm not the worst off person in the world, i know that. I'm lucky to be alive and alive with so few injuries, compaired to the certain death or severe disfigurement that would of came had that gaurd rail not held, or had we not been driving an older pick-up with 4 and a half feet of solid steel in the front. I'm still amazed at my little sister's driving. Once the car shut off, the steering locked up, but she managed to man handle that wheel, like a BEAST. Swurving and not hitting a single person as we rolled down that hill. It was like watching the incredable hulk. I don't know where that boost of strength came from...I feel so bad for her though...I don't mean to do it. But if i wince or something, or mention that im in pain, she gets a big guilt trip even though it wasn't anyone's fault, most certainly not her's. Her quick thinking and good judgement contributed in the saving of our lives...
My dad is on a guilt trip too. I'd like to just slap him sometime's. He keeps saying, its his fault because he's the one who asked us to go for groceries in the first place and that it was his truck and how he'd of rathered it to happen to him. Ugg...For the love of god, even STEVE feels guilty. He'd offered that we take his car to go to the store and we took the truck instead. Steve really is a good friend. He stayed at the emergency room with us all night when he didn't have to. *sigh* But yea... big, steaming piles of crap going on lol We'll have to see what happens... |
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| Survey thingy stolen from Sin |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|02:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
I stole this from, and it is filled out for dokuhacker
1. name: Kristina
2. birthday: December 26th
3. place of residence: Pennsylvania
4. what makes you happy: Friends, Drawing, Beading, Tattoos, Wednesday night D&D, My cat
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last: Fake It - Seether
6. do you read my lj: Sure do.
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it: You're posts acually have "substance" lol Not just a little three sentence read.
8. an interesting fact about you: I collect swords...?
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment: Haha... crush. But i'm not too optimistic. I always seem to set unrealistic goals.
10. favourite place to be: Artist Alley at Conventions or the PA Ren.Faire <3
11. favourite lyric/quote: " Nothing good can come from staying with normal people"
12. best time of the year: Summer and Fall
13: a recent picture of yourself: I'll have to post one
RECOMMEND
1. a film: Can't think of one right now
2. a book: I'm currently obsessed with the Twilight series
3. a song: Can't think of anything right now
4. a comic book: Machinegun Angel
5. a short story: Can't think of one
6. a TV program: A Haunting
PLUS
1. one thing you like about me: You're so much fun to be around!
2. two things you like about yourself: My tattoos and my collection of anime/gaming figurines.
3. put this in your LJ so I can tell you what I think of you. |
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| Lyrics drop |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|08:37 am] |
"Can't Take This"
MEST
I want this
She hates this
I'm not who I used to be
You've passed by, I've still tried
To make something of me
No one believes in me
No one sees what I see
Should I just erase this all from my memory?
I can't take this
It's been too long
I'm drowning in
My own song
As I come to rest
I left home, then broke down
In a town called Misery
Surrender, I'll never be what I want to be
No one believes in me
No one sees what I see
Should I just erase this all from my memory?
I can't take this
It's been too long
I'm drowning in
My own song
As I come to rest
This world I created for myself
I forgot to bring someone else
Now I'm drowning alone
Now I'm drowning alone
I break down, I fall out
I'm burned out, and I'm lost without
With nothing to say
I can't take this
It's been too long
I'm drowning in
My own song
As I come to rest
This world I created for myself
I forgot to bring someone else
Now I'm drowning alone
Now I'm drowning alone |
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| emo drama rant |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|07:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Return to Self Loathing - MEST | ] |
Well... as fucked up as this sounds. Its nice to know i'm not alone. I believe Sin pretty muched summed up how i feel about life in her journal. I'm tired of it. Seriously. I'm sick of people who try to call themselves my friends. I'm sick of putting on a fake smile for everyone. I'm not going to do it anymore. So help me fucking god, i won't do it anymore. I'm ready to give up on everything. I've lost just about all confidence in my artwork, my writing, jewelry making, ect. And you know something else? I'm jelous. Yea. I'm fucking jealous as all hell that i worked so hard to try and make something out of life for myself, and all i got was shit on while everyone else around me is doing just fucking wonderful. I'm tired of constantly being berated by my family and so-called friends. I gave up on the hope of getting support for my life goals out of them a long time ago. Everything i want to do in life, is a joke apparently. I should "wake up" and focus on a "real" career goal. Tattooing and art is going to get me anywhere in life, don't you know? I want to go to art school. But i've realized that its probably just not going to happen. I'm going to be stuck working in jobs i hate for the rest of my life it seems. Its like i took a step back last night and re-evaluated life. And came to the realization that i have nothing. I have my cats. And i have a SMALL handful of friends. 99% of which i only get to communicate to through the INTERNET. Sad, no? And they constantly wonder why i'm always glued to the computer. I've tried to explain THAT too, untill i was blue in the face. Ugg.
Heh. And not to mention that i'm so fucking lonely that its almost suffocating. I look around, and everyone has somebody. Except me. And you know whats sad? And it kind of hurts too. I know that i'll never have anything like that unless i change me. I've got to change everything about me. Physically, Mentally, you name it. And guess what...? I don't want to, so it looks like i'm stuck being alone. I shouldn't have to anyhow... But what-the-fuck-ever. I guess this is how its going be and i should get used to it. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2007|12:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
So apparently loosing my job has got me more upset then i realized... Then again i'll chalk it up to the depression, since this happens every other week... I should be on medication, i sweat to god... So anyhow, as you could assume i'm in one of my wonderous apathetic slumps... I don't feel like doing anything much other then sleeping and i just don't really care too much about anything...I'm really looking forward to aNEXT and Otakon. Being out of town usually cheers me up pretty good...I need a freaking vacation like mad. On a random note, i'd kill to be in a swimming pool right now... freaking hot as hell... Ugg.. i'd rather freeze then be sweaty and gross... Sorry to jump around a lot but this pretty much to get my mind cleared out. Ranting helps me de-stress... On the brighter side i'm driving down to aNEXT. Its not that far of a trip so i think me and Petey will be able to swing it. I just realized the cons are less then two months away and i have SHIT loads of work to do still... I'm starting to sweat a little... My waist cincher and corset aren't ready yet, and i can't make the skirt and top of trainer yuna with out them to do measurements... If all else fails i'll have to go buy a gurdle or something. I can't wait too much longer. I refuse to be caught last minute again. That was hell last year. And it ended up i didn't get to wear the costume anyhow. Ugg...
SO i guess i'll make myself a little check list of what i've got to do so far.
Trainer Yuna::
- assemble the skirt
- cut out top and assemble
- fix "rat tail" hair piece
- Go buy a pair of leather work gloves to look like "trainer's" gloves
- Make pattern for the sleeves
I've got to make time tomorrow or friday to take those dowels up to my grandpa's and drill through them. I can't keep putting it off. I've got to get it done. And for the next person who tells me that yuna's earring is TWO or THREE tubes that make up the big one, i say: Screw you, and go look at ANY piece of official yuna artwork. Its ONE long tube. ONE, and then the rounds beads and the teardrop shaped one under that. I'm a detail WHORE. I'm very concious of these things.
I'm also seriously considering killing off my DnD character Tyree, and rerolling something i'm used to playing... Like a bard or a rogue. Its not like i can hit anything anyhow... I keep rolling crap. The only time i do any significant amount of damage is when Dan isn't there. Her soul accomplishment the last nearly 2 months, has been to stand there and draw agro. Thats it. I haven't killed anything or caused major damage in forever. Ward and Teirion seem to take care of that... And besides from that. The math drives me CRAZY. Fucking ape-shit crazy... I'm not used to playing a fighter. So i wasn't aware of all the on the spot adding it requires. And i don't know what you need to add to get half the skill checks and shit.... Ugg... And i swear to god... If paul rolls his eyes at me ONE MORE TIME... or makes some disgusted gesture while i'm trying to add my damage or checks up... i'm going to lose it. He thinks i can't see him out of the corner of my eye... or that Jared won't tell me the faces he makes... I'm sorry i'm not mister seasoned theater major who knows everything. Math was never my friend. I haven't even done anything to him. And i really don't appreciate it... But seriously... my fighter is to the point where she's nothing but a big joke. I never claimed to be a DnD veteran. I just want to have fun. So sorry if i'm putting a damper on my groups good time, with my insufficiant math skills and lacking knowledge of how to play any class other then bard. Sean will probably kick me out soon anyhow. I haven't been able to pay membership for 3 months now. And i doubt i'll be in any posistion to pay for another few months...I can barely afford to keep gas in my tank, and they wonder why i never want to come up other then wednesdays...
I'm sick and tired, of being sick and tired. My migranes had gotten a lot better the last 2 years, but for some reason they've come back again. Frequently and bad... Its annoying and painful. And it definately ruins my day when one happens... Well whatever... somethings got to give soon... this can't keep going on forever. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2007|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
Okay...So this whole unemployment thing is proving to be one hell of a pain in the ass. I'm wondering if its even worth it. On the up side, i found a pattern for these freaking adorable little japanese stuffed kitty dolls. I kind of modded the pattern a bit, and made a Axel cosplay one lol. I think its coming out cute. I'll post up a picture once i get it totally finished... |
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| Bleh... |
[May. 3rd, 2007|04:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
LJ gives me headaches... Big freaking migrane sized brain twitches...Ugg... Well i guess thats what i get for not using this thing for a whole year. So anyhow,life is still dead end at the moment. Yes... it HAS been an entire year and i've still not found a job worth taking... I'm starting to explore my other part time options. If i'm going to be stuck in retail for a while still, i'll definately need a change in scenary...I'm so sick of JoAnn's its ridiculous... Its back to the point of where it was during the whole Kelli drama... I get physically ILL knowing i have to go to work there. Its disgusting really. They've pretty much taken away all incentive to be an employee under them. Well whatever... I can't afford to be jobless till after the fall anyhow. So i guess that means suck it up and do what you gotta do... I have blogs to vent, right? *sigh*
In other news. Convention time draws near... For me at least. I was dicked over by a friend for my room and transportation for aNEXT, so i'm scrambling around trying to secure things... I'd hate to waste the registration. And we even got the table in AA... I'm forced to rely on Gir and her connections once again. I'm sure she'd like to PWN my face by now lol
In other news. My dad is going to most likely end up driving my friend and i to Otakon. Considering i almost shit my pants when i called the bus station and found out the round trip fare to Baltimore went from $45 to $110 per person. It'd be cheaper to give my dad gas money. Well anyhow...I've put the rest of B-Mage Yuna on hiatus untill i can fix her to my liking. I know my mom was trying to help, and i really do appreciate her pulling the all-nighter with me to work on it. But she screwed up more things on it then i can list...It'll take me more time to repair and alter then its worth. I decided to work on something a little easier (for me anyhow) and go with Trainer Yuna instead. Physically i think the trainer costume will be a plus at any rate. Because i can make the whole thing out of mostly breathable fabrics. B-Mage is all satin... and i don't relish the thought of running around Baltimore in the 90 degree summer heat, clad in satin. Well we'll see how it goes. The convention center IS air conditioned. So i can always take it and change into it once i'm inside. I've put a LOT of work into it...I'd hate not to wear it.
Well thats about all i have for now... Its 5a.m. The cult is done with their construction equipment shuffling for tonight. So i guess i can finally sleep... This is nearly a week in a row now... I'm getting really pissed off by it. Anyhow. I guess i better throw up a check list for the costume, so i can get my ass working on it... But i'll do that after i get some shut eye... |
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| Yay....All set up now. |
[May. 19th, 2006|04:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mest - "Last Kiss" | ] |
So i've finally got most of this set up to how i want it. Theres really nothing to report as of right now. Well that and my dad isn't feeling well so he's sleeping in the recliner and my typing tends to bother him... the fact that is 4:15 A.M. could be a factor too... but nahh.. Hah. Soo I'm thinking that i may take a dear friend's advice and try my hand at commissions to maybe make a bit of spare cash in the down time. Losing that job really has me in a funk, i'll be honest... That had to be one of the most dissappointing things to ever happen... Well anyhow its back to square one. So the amazing good job hunt commences once more XP. And while thats going on, i am again reduced to the shit money i make part-time at JoAnn's... Huzzah. |
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